


When the party is over

by idoesntshine



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hueningkai cancer fighter, M/M, Slight trigger warning, Strangers to Friends, its kind of sad, taehyun battling depression, taening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-20 13:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19377487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idoesntshine/pseuds/idoesntshine
Summary: "Don't you know I'm no good for you?"In which two boys met and fell in love at the edge of their lives holding hands, but nothing is clarified.Taehyun was just battling over his depression and Hueningkai with his cancer.





	When the party is over

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> Contains sensitive topics and scenario.  
> (not much descriptive though)  
> (Depression, Cancer, Death, and attempt of suicide)  
> Please remember that you're important, you matter and whatever color is going through your life right now. The best will always come and you will make it, fight all you lovely strong people.

_the world is colorless_

for Taehyun who never felt anything else besides this void inside his heart. maybe in some day's he could smile and say "I like how things are going." looking up to what will come, what will happen with no worries then at just a flicker of the sun the world suddenly turned colorless again. Taehyun wishes he could make everyone around him understand why he couldn't reach them and tell them why he'd suddenly cry in the middle of their movie night or when they're just hanging out or when they're just doing nothing.

Funny how Taehyun felt like he's thinking about everything and at the same time there is nothing inside of him. He'd look at the night sky trying to reach it with his hand even if there are no stars or that's just what he thinks and that's what everyone says about how he feels. But could anyone tell what's going on him? his mind? his life?

So yeah he didn't think the therapist would work at him but he still tried. its at least he could do for himself to understand what's going on his self. After the session and long story talks, he got out of the Therapy room feeling still nothing inside till he saw someone outside who stared back at him and their eyes met.

Like electricity, Taehyun suddenly felt shy. A nice looking guy looking at an uninteresting kind of him. Why? is there something in his face? The boy walked towards him and Taehyun gulps and took a step back but the closed door he was in stopped him. 

  
"Hi!"

And the world suddenly burst out colors, thousands of different shades, schemes, and tones passed by Taehyun with just one _'HI'_

_How the effing fuck is that possible-_

or maybe its how the boy smiled at him, eyes full of light that seems like the world has blessed him but Taehyun noticed that the boy is wearing a hospital gown, maybe he's not that blessed.

"Um, are you alright?" he asked. Noticing how the boy's mood suddenly changed with fiddling his fingers.

"I need help," the boy said looking around for a bit then staring at his own eyes again, and Taehyun needed a warning like damn his heart could get an attack from that beautiful eyes staring at his, you know.

"Are you a visitor here?"

A visitor? Oh yeah, he is in the biggest hospital in their town, even vet and animal shelter is here and different kinds of patients will be here. And he, why was he here again? The session didn't feel like anything at all.

"Yeah, I visited my pet." he lied. I mean that wouldn't hurt anything they don't know each other. And it's not like those little bits of information are important to the other, everything will end anyway.

"Oh, I hope your pet gets well soon!"

"Thanks," he said, without any tone at all. "So what help do you need?"

"I am not allowed to go outside the hospital but I want to buy ice cream can you tell the guards you're my friend?" Okay, that's another lie and Taehyun thinks that's harmless so...

"Don't you have someone you know to go with you?" he asked, and the boy shook his head no.

 

Okay, so Taehyun, who was at the hospital earlier for therapy session which he felt like nothing happened but just him telling the therapist about his life being colorless, boring, no path which to go and just empty. Now he's here with a hospital patient about to lie on the guard. The boy linked his arms around his, also the boy is taller than him so yeah you can imagine the way his hand kind of has to lift for that. Is this boy even younger than him?

"Hueningkai, where are you going?" a nurse called making the both of them stop.

"Nurse Choi I'm going outside with my friend for a bit." hueningkai, is that his name? doesn't sound like from here but he looks foreign anyway.

The nurse looked at him, scanned him down like he's a suspect for something. He gulped and felt the grip on his arms tighten.

"Why haven't I seen you before? also, how did you made friends Kai?" the nurse crossed arms and Hueningkai step back behind Taehyun like as if to hide but Taehyun is shorter than him so, but anyways Taehyun thinks its time to say something do his 'help'

"I'm his boyfriend."

"Wh-"

Okay, Taehyun does not know why that slipped out, it just happened. Maybe its because he feels like one right now or I don't know? Another option? He just wants to help Hueningkai.

"We met through online hyung!" hueningkai explained with puppy eyes.

"Okay fine, but be careful alright? Also please take care of Hueningkai."

"I will." he smiles.

Since the nurse believed him that he is Hueningkai's boyfriend and that they met through chatting online. The nurse allowed the two to have a 'Date'. Taehyun didn't know why he said he is his boyfriend like it just slipped out of his tongue for some reason, but another lie worked so. 

"Thank you so much!" Hueningkai smiled. Taehyun scratches the back of his neck not knowing what he is doing.

"You're welcome," he replied, looking at the cars passing by outside the hospital.

Oh, he just remembered that he was leaving.

"Goodbye then, I guess."

Hueningkai's smile fell "Wait... Please stay and let me buy you ice cream as a thank you." 

And Taehyun doesn't have anything to do anyway so he nods his head and seeing the boy smile again makes him feel happy. 

 So why not?

They both got their ice cream at some local ice cream shop, he got his strawberry flavored one and once he saw Hueningkai with a mint chocolate flavor he judged so hard. “How could you eat that? That taste like toothpaste.”

The boy pouts at him “Taste good for me though.”

Taehyun shooks his head and just eats his. Both of them started walking back together in the hospital direction.

“Thank you for the ice cream,” he said.

“Welcome! Thanks to you we can both have it,” hueningkai chuckled. “By the way my name is Hueningkai!”

Suddenly Taehyun felt something deep in his heart, should he tell him his name back? Wouldn't that will just create a connection? Should he lie and leave and forget everything behind? Because this is too good for him.

But Taehyun doesn't want this to end, he doesn't want this to be just a memory, he doesn't want to go back to reality yet. He wants to be with Hueningkai more. 

“My name is Taehyun.” he smiled.

Even when he got home that night, the smile on his face is still there. He rethinks what happened and how he met Hueningkai. How he knows someone name Hueningkai who magically came to his life like a rainbow that has a bad taste with ice cream flavor but... Taehyun felt happy.

 

Usually, Taehyun thinks everything just passes by and everything just goes. While he's in school clock is ticking as he writes down notes, he'd look at the window beside him and see the tree's dancing reminding him how sometimes everything just went by and it scares him because he felt like he didn't even do anything to make his future clearer. He's just here... and it's frustrating.

But he remembered he's supposed to go to his therapist later, he remembered Hueningkai. It has been a day since the last time he saw him, god he couldn't forget him.

He allowed himself to think about him instead of anything.

When they met each other again at the hospital, Hueningkai was in a wheelchair with Nurse Choi. He was about to be worried but Hueningkai waved his hands to him with a big smile on his face.

“Taehyun!” he called at him. And there it is again, colors exploding through his monochrome world.

“Hi Hueningkai,” he smiled, smiling back. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” hueningkai nods, “Nurse Choi said he saw you here, so I asked for help to get to you.”

“Romance these days,” nurse Choi speaks sounds like he's done with romance antics. “Boy really went giggly when I told him I saw you.”

Taehyun blushed, is he someone to be excited about? But he also misses Hueningkai as much. But he wouldn't say that it is only been a day and they don't know much about each other. Why is he already like this?

“Well I'm here now,” he said.

“Oh! Can we please get ice cream again? My treat!”

“No, I'll treat you this time.”

“God, you two just get on your second date already.” Nurse Choi sighed, “Also Taehyun here is my number just in case.”

“I'll take care of him.” its not a lie anymore.

That day went by, but for Taehyun he feels like the time didn't even move. It was stuck at their hour and every talk, conversation about animals or how the clouds form shapes. What do you do? What is your favorite color, do you like stuff toys too? And Taehyun felt like the world is a feather, everything doesn't matter. When he and Hueningkai exchange laughter he realized something.

He was helping Hueningkai with moving his wheelchair about to go back to the hospital again. It was about sunset, Hueningkai is humming a song and Taehyun is looking ahead of the sidewalk.

“I'm happy we meet again.” He said. Hueningkai turned his head at him.

“Hm? You sound like leaving.”

“No.. no.. I just, I was worried.”

“I'm alright,” Hueningkai looked ahead again, eyes away from him. “Are you, Taehyun?”

“I'm happy right now.”

When they got back to the hospital, Hueningkai asked to be sent to his room and of course, Taehyun did it for him.  Once he entered his room and saw thousands of Origami on the floor.

“I wanted to hang them up but... I'm afraid of that.”

“Hueningkai..”

“I'm a cancer patient..” Hueningkai weakly stood up from his wheelchair and sat down, he looked at the time.

“Are you leaving?”

“Not yet.” Taehyun sat down beside him.

“Im.. thank you for keeping up with me I'm probably annoying..”

“You're not, I think you're so cheerful.” Taehyun smiled at him, fingers suddenly make way to the others.

Hueningkai held it “Everyone wants to see me happy.”

“Because you deserve it,” he replied, suddenly he could feel the sunset light against the bare walls to the room.

“But.. is it because I'm going to be gone soon?”

Taehyun frown, oh.

He remembered he met a boy name Hueningkai who gave him thousands of colors who looks cheerful and happy but of course.

“Don't you want to be happy?” he asked.

“I don't know,” Hueningkai looked down at their hands, lifting it and Taehyun squeezed his palm. “But what if I'm not a cancer patient, would everyone treat me the same?”

Taehyun moved to face Hueningkai, he holds his two hands together and held them dearly.

“Do you know when I met you, you gave me colors?”

“H-huh?” Hueningkai blushed.

“You looked nervous and lost,”

“But you reached to me and it revived my heart.”

Taehyun smiled at him and Hueningkai's cheeks turned redder, a shy smile appear and Taehyun chuckles.

“Whatever you're feeling I'll be here.”

“If you feel happy then I'll be happy with you, and If you feel lonely I'll come for you, and If you feel sad I will be sad with you.”

“Thank you Taehyun.”

When Taehyun got home that day, he ran to his room and broke down. Tears flowing down as he sobs trying to quiet himself down, though he knows no one will hear him... He just wants to stop.

But it overflows more than his tears show, his heart heavy.

Why does someone that makes his dead heart alive have to be in that situation? Why can't he live more?

Why can't he just take the pain that Hueningkai have? Can he just be the one with cancer instead and transfer his life to the boy? Hueningkai deserves so much more.

And he's here, completely fine at all. Without no pain and just many more years to cry to. 

He just wishes Hueningkai realize how his name started to mean a lot to his heart.

 

“By the way, Taehyunnie is your pet a cat or a dog? or a wolf! I wanted to have a bunny but its only at home with my dad.” they were at the rooftop of the hospital this time since the road is heavy with traffic and a lot of people are outside. it has been weeks and they see each other every day.

“Oh,” Taehyun remembered that he lied to Hueningkai about him visiting his pet. “I.. have a cat name hobak.” He said.

“Hobak?! That's such a unique name.” 

“It's like jewelry...” Taehyun doesn't have an idea of what he is saying.

“My bunny name is Tobin!” He said, “Because he looks like nurse Choi.”

“Nurse Choi's name is Tobin?”

“No no, Soobin.”

“What is his reaction though?”

“He said he's cute and so I stopped talking,” Hueningkai said and Taehyun shooks his head.

“You tire nurse Choi out,” he said, “He still doesn't know we were strangers.”

“You are not anymore though,” Hueningkai said.

“Yes, I am your boyfriend.” Taehyun bit his lip, why did he just say that again?

But Hueningkai laughs and it sounds so sweet, the boy leans in the barrier to look down and see the busy road.

“How is it like moving from home to school and here? And anywhere else?” Hueningkai asked.

Taehyun hums before answering, “I don't feel excited with school, it felt just like passing by. Home doesn't feel like home.. just a house and my bed and I just do my stuff in there.”

“But here, I have you here,” he said, also looking down from the rooftop they're in the barrier only thing to stop him from falling.

“I will always stay here,” hueningkai replied.

But even if Taehyun didn't fall from that rooftop, when he felt the cold and the warmth in Hueningkai's hand he thinks he already did and in the most amazing way.

 

As time goes by, the frequent ice cream turned into more ice cream which maybe will be bad for their health, and Taehyun is still trying to convince Hueningkai that his choice of flavor still sucks but nothing will stop the younger anyway (Yeah he found out he's older than him and he's mad he's shorter but Hueningkai said "Maybe if you don't stay up too late") and Taehyun stopped staying up too late.

They also always eat pizza from a delivery which they ate at Hueningkai's room, nurse Choi approved it though as long as they're both safe. And Taehyun found out Hueningkai is a big eater for pizza with pineapples which he found cute, but anyway it's only because Kai will whine about being full when he couldn't even stop himself from eating the whole box and Taehyun will laugh at him.

They also both started to hang up all Hueningkai's origami from the ceiling, they also make ones together. Taehyun found out that Hueningkai is a fast learner and he felt sad when the boy said, "Because unlike anyone, I can't go to school and do some sports or anything else.. I'm only good at this I guess." Taehyun shook his head and said that Hueningkai is amazing which made the boy smile and it also made his heart flutter. Wishing he could tell him more.

Sometimes Taehyun couldn't help but feel something inside him trigger like he just wants to take care of Hueningkai but he has to attend school and stuff have to go home, even his parents started asking where did he go but he ignored them as they do to him. Taehyun wants to see Hueningkai every day but sometimes he gets sick and couldn't get out of his room he even envies nurse Choi because he takes care of Hueningkai and sometimes it bothers him how they're close and they're probably closer than him and Hueningkai because they're together since Hueningkai was a kid.

But then, everything will just go away once he sees Hueningkai smile at him, reach out to him and hug him and say. "I'm happy we meet together again!" as if Taehyun's existence is meaning as if his purpose in life finally became visible and seeing him.. like he is the dream he always wanted to be for the future. 

"Nurse Choi takes care of Huening," The younger will say as they both eat their ice cream. "But Taehyun is Huening's everything." and Taehyun has the hardest time to calm his heart that time, he replies an 'Oh' but deep inside he's screaming, God Huening is Taehyun's everything too.

Taehyun felt so happy with Hueningkai, he doesn't think anything could ever replace this feeling. The world didn't just become colorful but meaningful ever since they met.

He started to look up every day when he knows after school and therapy he'd see Hueningkai, they're probably going to read some books (Hueningkai don't read them he just listens to Taehyun read them) or eat food as their favorite hobby together or watch a movie.

Taehyun started to realize how much he loves Hueningkai. His therapist told him he's doing well and that he is in love with someone, Taehyun was smiling the whole time talking about this boy who gave him colors, the boy who likes Mint Chocolate and Pineapples on Pizza. The boy... Hueningkai who makes him smile.

 

So Taehyun didn't expect Hueningkai to find out about him.

“You don't have a pet in vet clinic..”

They were at Huening's room, half of the Origamis finally are decorated and half still on the floor they're sticking them to the walls now when Hueningkai speaks.

Taehyun doesn't know how Hueningkai found out but he didn't ask but he felt bad because he lied to him.

“Yeah,” he sighed. He put down the frog origami he just created, “I am here for Therapy..”

“Therapy for?”

Taehyun took a deep breath and gulped down, his heart suddenly felt heavy and he doesn't think he can say it but “I experience major depression,” and suddenly he could see the world slowly turning black and grey again.

“B-but I'm okay now, I didn't tell you because I don't want you to worry or.. I don't think its that important side of me.” he goes on.

He couldn't even look at Hueningkai's eyes his thoughts started running he shouldn't have told him that it'll ruin their happiness together, he'll make Hueningkai worried, will Hueningkai even understand? he couldn't be weak in front of him.

But his body betrayed him, tears fell down his eyes and he felt kai's hand reach his but he swats it away, they both look surprised and Taehyun immediately stood up to leave. Hueningkai called him but his beating weak heart was louder than that.

_Why did he lie? Why did he cry? Why did he push him away?_ _What is wrong with him?_

Taehyun felt stupid, vulnerable and weak. Doctors and nurses saw him passing by with tears and he doesn't want to be there, wanna be hidden he just made himself look weak.

And so Taehyun wants it all to end, a car passed by so sudden and it hit him. The sky was staring back at him, the bright eye blinding sun in front of him, but he didn't flinch nor move even if he could hear everybody around him. The silence is so hurting,

 

_the world turned colorless again_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He didn't expect to wake up he wishes he hadn't, everything hurts and aches in his body he remembered what happened and it aches even more.

He saw nurse Choi in front of him “Please don't stand up yet, your injury is still critical Taehyun.” nurse Choi said.

"Here let me help you sit up." nurse Choi held his back and slowly helped him to sit up from the bed.

"Thank you," he said. Voice low and weak, nurse Choi nods his head and leaves.

Taehyun sees his condition, casts on his legs and arm and its all because of his stupid action but he felt nothing. The hospital room he's in is colorless and dark and it kind of reflects him inside his eyes wandered and saw across the room, a spark hit his heart Hueningkai was stood there eyes wide looking at him.

“Taehyunie?" The boy called and Taehyun looked down, he doesn't think he can face him after he pushed him away for a simple thing and now he's here.

The boy walked towards him and sat close to him, he felt his hand being held and suddenly he broke down to tears again. Hueningkai hugged him and let his head rest on his chest, patting his back he heard him say "It's okay," and it sounds so gentle like taking care of his every wounds and pain. covering it up with anesthesia and he couldn't even speak but cry.

"I understand," then he hears Hueningkai sobs "D-don't force yourself to be happy if you're not."

"But I'll worry you... and might also make you feel sad too," he replied, "Don't you know I'm no good for you? I will probably never make it out of this,"

Hueningkai held his shoulders and stare at his eyes "Just having you is enough," he said, "And you're strong Taehyun, you are always stronger than you think."

"And we don't have to be happy if we're not, just be with me... It's enough." Hueningkai hugged him again, "Aren't you the one who said that? We'll be together no matter what."

Taehyun teared up again and Hueningkai wiped it away, "I love you Taehyun."

Taehyun nods his head and hugged Hueningkai, "You became the reason why I live even if for short, you're my life."

and Taehyun fell himself slowly drift away, felt safe and content he hear Hueningkai said something before he fell asleep.

"Never take my life away."

 

Taehyun likes it this way, even if he couldn't go out for a few months he's happy he's with Hueningkai at the hospital with him, nothing else matters anyway.

They also ask nurse Choi to buy them ice cream since Taehyun couldn't still walk and Hueningkai started being lazy, nurse Choi is happy for the both of them so he bought them ice cream anyway and Taehyun still doesn't like mint chocolate, but maybe it tastes just a bit better when its from Hueningkai.

They also finished decorating Hueningkai's room with their DIY thing and origami (Though Taehyun fell asleep in here most of the time). Hueningkai was so happy and Taehyun smiled at him, feeling happy with what he has achieved too. 

They also started doing videos together where Hueningkai will play a piano and Taehyun will sing a song. "Taehyun your voice is so amazing! You could be a singer!" Hueningkai will say and Taehyun will smirk confidently though heart beating fast.

"Maybe someday."

When Taehyun's birthday came and his last day in the hospital, nurse Choi and the doctors gave him a birthday cake he felt so happy. Even his parents arrived but to only greet him and leave early, but it's okay because that night when he stayed in Hueningkai's room they ate pizza together.

"I have a gift for you!" the younger said excitedly standing up and leaving the room for a bit.

"A gift?"

Hueningkai came back and Taehyun couldn't help but stand up from the bed and held the cat in his arms. "His name is Hobak, he's yours now!" Hueningkai pets the head.

Taehyun felt teary his heart full, he looked at Hueningkai's eyes "Thank you Huening."

"No problem! Also, nurse Choi helped me picking him he said Hobak is jewelry and we met him he looks like that jewelry!"

Taehyun puts down the cat who meowed at him, Hueningsat beside the cat "Do you like him?" he asked.

"Yes," He replied scratching the cat's ears. "I love him thank you so much."

"Hobak will be with you! He will protect and company you when I'm gone."

_Oh_

 

When Hueningkai came to his life he used to always say that thousands of colors became meaningful, that suddenly he felt like he could defeat sadness and he's not alone anymore.

How could he forget? Time is running and time goes by and passes by too fast for Taehyun who realized he hasn't said how much Hueningkai means to him.

So that night when he received a text from nurse Choi his heart stopped, he ran outside his house even Hobak was worried but he thought its better Hobak stays in his room. He ran so fast to get to the hospital, he couldn't waste time, not anymore... _please make him make it there._

He entered the hospital and everyone know why... everyone knows about the two who met like soulmates who were gifted with love that they couldn't even be separated.

Taehyun found Hueningkai at his hospital room and it was decorated origami made by the two of them together. Pizza boxes built into a house and piano that stays on the side, Taehyun sits down beside Hueningkai

Who smiled at him, but this time no colors burst out... Taehyun just cries but Hueningkai wiped it away.

"Taehyun," he called and Taehyun hum "When I was told that my life is short I always asked why did I have to live when I'm going to leave anyway.

I asked everyone, why do I have to be happy when In the end I'll just be nothing and will be gone someday?

When you came to my life, I think I found my answer.

Because in my short life I will meet you, I will fall in love with someone who makes me smile, who made me feel like I can be just like everybody,

A boy that will fall In love."

Taehyun kissed his forehead "I love you too Huening," he said almost a whisper since his words blocked by sobs but he fought.

"You are the reason why I became strong,

you are the colors to my monochrome world 

when I met you I never thought I'd feel this way,

I was lifeless though I am here and I wish I can give you half of my life to be with you longer," Taehyun broke down and Hueningkai hugs him.

"Hueningkai p-please..." 

And for the last time, he saw colors in the most painful way he never thought it'd be

"I will always be here, and I'm happy I meet you again,

someday we'll meet again." 

 

_the world was full of colors_

_when two boys met at the edge of their lives_

_they fell in love._

 

_don't take your life away._

_don't spend it away_

 

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry it ended that way, also please tell me if its good. THANK YOU


End file.
